you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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