I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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