I feel great
I just peed on a car
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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