I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
