So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize