and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
