You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
