hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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