i already hear my dad disowning me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
