K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize