You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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