3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
