Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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