Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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