So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
