We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
