I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
