So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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