I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
