you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found puke in my bra..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
