How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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