Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
