Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
