I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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