so explain again why im purple
no
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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