He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am spending my child support on dildos
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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