Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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