turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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