have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
