You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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