We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
