Barsexuality is the new black.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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