fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
