fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
