she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
