He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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