i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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