dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i think my cat just said my name.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
