she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
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Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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