Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize