I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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