Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
