you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
