Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize