dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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