I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize