If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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