I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
