btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
