This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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