He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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