Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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