I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
