Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
