We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
