Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize