you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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