She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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