I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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