He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
