is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize